Where did I go?

Somewhere along this trip I've lost myself. I am now writing and making money -- what I once thought would make me so happy--and it certainly does. It does also give me a sense of accomplishment and I feel good bringing something to the table again. It feels warm and wonderful that the boys think it is very cool that I "write articles" and are proud to tell their friends and teachers (Jackson even incorporated it into my Mother's Day poem). I have fun doing it and look forward to time to work. However, I am finding myself constantly neglecting my blog, my fiction and to a certain extent my friends to get the job done. To be able to pull off motherhood the way I want to do it, work more, keep the wheels turning around this house and be a supportive, loving wife is taking it out of me. I have to figure out how to get more out of my days and have it cost me less. Hmm ... sounds like what everyone else needs, I know. I'm not unique. I just think I'm having a few growing pains associated with adding some work hours back into my day and trying to still accomodate everything else at full tilt. I am not working at top efficiency, I know that. I am getting distracted and walk around in circles sometimes so I think there is room for me to squeeze more productivity out (I mean productivity very loosely--think meeting my own goals not work/money). I need a plan and I also need to get my ass back into the exercise grind, I've been doing the minimum which is enver enough. I need to stop being short sighted and see clearly into the future. I need ... I think I really need a girl's night.