Monday Blues

We spent the weekend skiing and snowboarding together. It was a lot of fun, but today is back to the grind with th exception of no school for the boys. We struggle on days off it seems ~ Cooper does better with a schedule. I asked them all to sleep in this morning (boarding for the whole weekend always takes it out of them) even though they went to bed early, so that they'd catch up a bit. Well, first they wouldn't GO to sleep and then they wouldn't STAY asleep. They are grouchy and Jackson is crying at the drop of a hat. On top of that we have homework (a lot) to do, no groceries and a house to clean. Yuck.

I was blue coming home yesterday anticipating today ... I love days off with my boys but also can dread them when I know I'm going to have to be the enforcer and get them to do things they don't want to do ALL day. Again, yuck. Oh well. We'll try and muddle through. This is when I try to come up with a plan that will pull us to the end ~ their favorite lunch and maybe download a few new tunes to clean to. With any luck they'll come around.

Babies and Big Boys

I am spending the day with Aiden and Everett - Everett is my 4 1/2 month old nephew whom I adore. I am however, having flashbacks and wondering how I actually took care of my three guys when they were 5 years and under! I have lamented lately that I think babyhood was easier for me ~ I understood my more clearly defined role as the provider of all food, nourishment, protection and safety. Babyhood for me was a no-brainer, I was rarely hit with a situation I couldn't navigate. I'm not saying I was a baby guru or an infant whisperer ~ I just understand babies. My own boys in particular.

While I still agree that for me the decisions and day to day tasks of raising my baby boys came easier to me than the tasks I have at hand today with my "bigger boys" - I am fairly sure I blocked out how much physical presence is actually required to care for an infant. Granted ~ when my boys were fussy it was mimis that fixed everything and I can not breast feed Everett so I am at a slight disadvantage concerning my resources in being able to soothe thim. I am also not his mommy and that more certainly plays a role in his reaction to the different environment today. But still, I had forgotten how physically taxing a baby truly is.

I'm still not sure I wouldn't trade my boys in for their former babyselves from time to time ~ sometimes the tasking work of rocking and snuggling, cuddling and comforting seems much more appealing than the argumentative, challenging, frustrating concerns of parenthood that I'm swimming in now. Maybe all I'd really like is to be in control of something or someone from time to time these days .... hmmm ... something to ponder.

Fog Delay and the Super Bowl

This morning the melting snow is mixing with warmer air to create a school delaying soup outside. The boys were thrilled to be home a few extra hours - they roller bladed in hte basement, played with their turtles and Cooper read me stories from Sports Illustrated Kids. I'm feeling a little under the weather and as soon as my sweet boys heard me coughing and heard me say "I don't feel so well" they were attentive and eager to please.

There are days when I'm unsure what I'm doing and if we'll all make it to the end - and then comes mornings like this when I figure I must be doing something right to evoke such sweet compassion and understanding out of little bodies that are programmed to be selfish and egotistical at this age.

We watched some footage on the Manning boys last night ... Peyton and Eli of course, but also their older brother Cooper. By all reports they are exemplorary in behavior, choice and values. I found myself wondering how their mom did it all. Not that I think I'm raising three football super stars - I mean how did she raise boys who cheered so vigorously for each other, rejoiced so thourghly in the others successes when it meant failure on their own fronts. There was a sound byte of Peyton talking to Eli in the locker room immediately after the Giants won the Super Bowl in what is being called the bigget underdog sports victory of all times, on the news last night. Peyton says with no inhibition to his little brother "I love ya man! I'm so proud of you. So proud of you. I love ya. Let's go have a few, ya want to?"

I was glad to have my boys watch such brotherly support and love - and I hope they can follow in those big ole footsteps - not to the Super Bowl, but to a life that allows freedom of feeling and love.

Here I go again!

So, I lost Planet Boy at nodblog. It disappeared. Fell into the deep cyberspace vaccuum. I was heartbroken over lost writing and thoughts ... months and months worth! I wasn't sure I had the heart to start again, but here I am. Writing about those cool little boys who make my house a testosterone soup makes me who I am, helps me see thru what's not so important and clarify what is. I enjoy it. I'm over the heartbreak (except for occassional pangs of mourning) and am ready to get back at it. I'll start tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday. I will start. I promise.