Everyone around me is falling apart ...

I'm feelin' it. I'm really feelin' it. I have several friends in very bad situations this Christmas - the end of marriages, custody issues, traumas and financial stress. It seems as though life has been swimming along and now - 20 years or so later - the accumulation of their life choices (or life's chances) have caught up. Unhappiness abounds around me right now and I am feelin' it.

It is interesting - as I talk with Eric nearly every day about one situation or another - how our role as friends change. This isn't like talking your girlfriend out of feeling sad she got dumped while you listen to Chicago's greatest love songs or telling taking your buddy out on a bender to get over a girl by morning. This is big time. Big stuff. This is trying to help your friends navigate through life's truly rough waters and it is hard to figure out just what my/our job is.

Do I play devil's advocate? Do I point out my opinion? Do I just listen? Do I stand up for her when she's not standing on her own two feet? What do I do? I told Eric, I'm trying to learn how to be a good friend in these new circumstances but I don't think I'm quick enough on the uptake for this crash course. Before any of you begin to feel as though I'm speaking right to you -- and we all know you're there -- this is not just about one relationship or one situation. Life for several of our close friends has gotten very hard and I want to "do good."

I want to come to the other side with these friendships in tact--stronger? I want to learn how to be a friend in these trying times and I suppose what I can rely on is simply looking back. Ending a marriage is certainly bigger than having your two-month-old high school romance cool -- but maybe chocolate, friendship and a few sad songs is still the way to go. Another idea - maybe I'll just ask.